I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
