The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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