Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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