She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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