i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
