I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
