I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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