No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
