they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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