If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
