He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
