who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
