Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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