walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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