i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
