I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
