I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
