margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
