I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
