I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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