I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
there is another microwave in the elevator.
the raccoons are back...
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