I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
