First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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