it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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