All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
