is your mom at the bar?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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