Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
