I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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