return my video game
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
