i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
