lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
