i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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