...so i touched it.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
