Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
