giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
