we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
