Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
