Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
