I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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