woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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