So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
