Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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