Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
