Kiss
Puke
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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