i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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