Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
