I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
