Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
