i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
