dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
