sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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