hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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