i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
