I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
